No, I Just Ate A Really Big Burrito

I walk into my insurance agency yesterday to update our policies and this is what happens:

After getting my name and information up on her computer we need to get some info off of my car. So we stand up, walk outside, chit chat, blah, blah, blah.

Then I say, "I've only got 8 weeks until my due date so we're still getting a few things done. We needed to do this before the baby comes."

Insurance agent: "What? You're not pregnant!"

Me: Blank stare

Insurance agent: "Wow!"

Me: "Yeah, I know."

Insurance agent: "Well, congratulations! But I still can't believe you're pregnant!"

Me: "Neither can I!"

Lesson learned: if you can't beat 'em, might as well join 'em, right?

Sunday Funday Finds

Since I've been hit with insomnia, I've been looking at or thinking about home decor since about 5:30 this morning. Yep. It's Sunday and I was awake at 5:30. Hopefully I crash tonight, if not, that's what Unisom is for tomorrow night.

In any case, I've been obsessed lately with geometric patterns, stripes, chevron stripes, multi-colored crochet stripes, circles, squares. Yikes, you name a shape and make it a color different than gray or beige and I suddenly LOVE it.

Horchow Panthea Rug - $299

Horchow Ambrosia Sheer Curtains $75 - $95

Horchow Geometric Prints SALE $295

Urban Outfitters Zigzag Duvet $79

Urban Outfitters Marquee Alphabet Light $179 (But if you live in the Twin Cities, I know where you can get one RIGHT NOW without paying for shipping EXCITING!!!)

Crate & Barrel 5 Piece Parker Bowl Set $39.95

10 Random Facts

1. Rusty MONSTER the dog has been a pain lately. We sent him to daycare and this is what happened:

 Rusty is standing on the yellow steps.

And here he is on the blue thing. No wonder why he loves climbing on picnic tables. Oh, you didn't know that he likes climbing on picnic tables?

2. Cinnamon Cheerios are awesome.

3. Winter here sort of sucks this year. Last year by this time we had 55 inches of snow... but this year... well, let's just say that I've had to wear rain boots more often.

4. Still searching for artwork for the nursery. Yeesh. It's really for me and Bimmer to look at so it shouldn't be that hard, right?

5. Car racing season starts at 1:30 this afternoon (Saturday). Again, my life goes into "holy-crap-the-car-needs-new--mode" for the rest of the year. 

6. Le sigh. My legs have started swelling and my Frye boots don't fit... About 3 months until I can wear them again.

7. Which reminds me that I want another pair of Frye boots.

8. The magazines on Kindle Fire are AWESOME. I can read without bringing clutter into our house! EXCITING!

9. Oh, Martha Stewart... you impress me with your Valentine's Day tissue paper wreath. Unfortunately that would probably melt if I put it on my front door.

10. I need to learn how to keep the dining room table cleared of clutter. Yikes.

Garlic Bread Not From a Package

Garlic bread is a tricky, tricky beast to make. Not only do you want it garlicky and buttery, but if it's too garlicky then it just doesn't taste quite right. And you don't want to eat it. You may keep vampires away though.

And so I learned how to make garlic bread from the master. My mom. I NEVER KNEW you could buy packaged garlic bread until I met Bimmer Man. For 18 years I believed that garlic bread was always homemade. ALWAYS. And so I make garlic bread on special occasions and whenever there's a french bread sale at the bakery.

So, let's get this show on the road and show you how to make buttery garlicky french bread.

Melt butter in a pan, I dunno how much, maybe half a stick? Maybe less? Slop in some garlic - about 2 tablespoons. Let everything melt together but don't let it bubble or anything. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Or 425 or whatever it's already set at. No biggie.

Slice your bread while the butter and garlic melt together. And then for the fun part. Take each slice of bread and dip it into the pan of butter and garlic and place onto a sheet of tinfoil . DIP ONLY ONE SIDE. NOT TWO SIDES, JUST ONE. And then keep going.

There. You've got yourself a load of garlic bread. Now wrap up the tinfoil and shove it into the oven for about 15 minutes. It will be nice, warm, melty, buttery, garlicky and delicious. Don't even think about pouring that buttery garlic mix over the bread, it will be too sloppy to slop up the juices of whatever you're eating with it.

Enjoy!

Requisite Winter Pot Roast

 Pot Roast. Winter. Cold Weather. Those three (ok, four) words go together like macaroni and cheese. YUM. For Christmas I received Mastering the Art of French Cooking (unbelievably I did not own these...) and so I set off to find the perfect roast recipe.

Lo and behold on a Wednesday night I don't have 6 hours to cook a pot roast.

I did have 3 hours though.

SO I adjusted what I could and put it in the oven and prayed to the oven gods to keep cooking.

 My little trick: saute and caramelize your onions and carrots BEFORE you brown the meat. And deglaze the pan with a really BIG glass of pinot noir. DELISH.

And unfortunately it all disappeared so this is what I was left to photograph. Sorry:

The Perfect Winter Pot Roast

3 - 3 1/2 pound slab of beef. Pick something that looks good
Carrots, maybe about 5
Onion - 1 large or 2 small
4 - 5 medium potatoes, cut into roughly bite sized pieces
1 very big glass of wine, I prefer pinot noir but you can use what you like to drink
Salt, pepper
Thyme - maybe about 2 tsp
2 bay leaves
Olive oil & 1 tbsp butter
Enough water to cover the roast halfway

Preheat oven to 325 degrees.

Heat oil and butter in a pan. Saute onions until clear and parts are brown and delicious. Remove from pan. Do the same thing to the carrots. Remove carrots. Season the meat on all sides with salt and pepper. Add in just a teensy bit more oil to the pan and sear the meat on all sides - maybe 2 - 3 minutes per side? Just until nicely seared. Remove the meat.

Deglaze the pan with the wine. Scrape up all the bits. Add the meat back into the pan. Add in water until roast is covered halfway. Add in all the veggies (including potatoes), thyme, bay leaves.

Roast in oven for about 3 hours. Meat will fall apart. Serve with garlic bread and salad.

Baby Room Update

 Yes, we're having a girl and yes, we're painting the room blue. At this point (day of the posting), we've finished painting and we've got more furniture together but I still wanted to share some in-progress photos.

 Let me just say this: I HATE PAINTING WINDOWS. I accidentally forgot to keep one open so Bimmer Man had to use an exacto knife to cut it loose. Oops. The windows are new enough that you just push in the sides and they flip into the house to clean - but I'm not strong enough to do that so I had to play the "window shuffle" and keep flip flopping them up and down to paint. Whatever... I did it. I still need to do some touch-ups and get the semi-gloss onto the windows but that can be done this Spring/Summer. It's getting too cold to keep the windows open.

 Bimmer Man picked out the paint color - it's Innocence by Benjamin Moore (but I got it color matched at Home Depot - they do the best job!).

And here's the AWESOME rug. Yup, you get just a peek!

Now onto picking out artwork and new curtains - I'm leaning towards a chevron pattern for the curtains - maybe in the red/rust color in the rug. I keep having to push "neutral" out of my mind - it's a girl and I just keep thinking "Holy crap, what if she comes out a he? WE'VE ALREADY GOT PINK CLOTHES!!!"

Happy Thursday!

Anyone Need A Donkey?

So I have a funny work story. Well, actually, I have several funny work stories however, they are all part of my normal work life so I don't really think about them anymore as being anything other than work.

We do pro bono animal cruelty stuff at work which means that we get lots and lots of phone calls complaining about underfed horses, outdoor dogs with no shelter, hoarding situations, etc...

In a nutshell: we educate people on the statutes to give animals better lives.

Here's a little gem for you:

Me: Blank, blank, blank. This is Pattymctatty.

Caller: I have to report a complaint of animal cruelty.

Me: Ok. Can I get the type of animal and the address of where the animal is located?

Caller: It's a donkey.

Me: Ok. We can help with hooved animals. Can I get the address of where the animal is located so that I can get an agent out to investigate?

Caller: Well, it hasn't had any food or water in a few hours.

Me: How do you know that? And can I get the address, please?

Caller: It's in the trailer of my truck.

Me: Where is your truck?

Caller: In my yard.

Me: Where is your yard?

Caller: So when can I drop off the donkey at your office?

Me: What?

Caller: Well, I need to drop off the donkey at your office.

Me: We do not take in surrendered animals. We are not a shelter. However, I can send an agent out to your house to check out the donkey. Do you need food for the donkey?

Caller: When can I drop off the donkey at your office?

Me: We are not a shelter. We do not take in surrendered animals. I can give you the website of the Minnesota Hooved Rescue.

Caller: I already left them a message.

Me: When did you leave them a message?

Caller: About 5 minutes ago. So when can I drop the donkey off at your office?

Me: We do not take in surrendered animals. We are not a shelter. Good luck getting a donkey into a bank building.

Caller: Hangs up.

Me: Gives the receiver a blank stare.

2012 Resolutions

Resolutions? What the heck are resolutions?

Read more books?

Cook more?

Sleep more than 4 hours a night in a few months?

Have a clean house?

Meh... Resolutions...

Quite frankly, I gave up on those a heck of a long time ago. Sort of. I vowed to quit smoking one year. That didn't happen. I vowed to exercise three times per week another year. That went out the window. Then I vowed to eat better. I guess I did join a CSA (about 4 years later...).

Somehow I've always wanted to read 75 - 100 books in a year. Will that happen?

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

:::gasp for air:::::

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I think it would happen if I read about 5 children's books a week. (Do they have to be different books or can they be the same?)

And now you've just met the pessimistic person in me. Oh, wait, no - maybe I'm a realist instead? I know that if I set goals too high for myself I just ignore them and think, well, WTF, why did I do that in the first place when I know I'm not going to do anything about them?

So here's my post on New Year's Resolutions.

I'm not doing any.

So there. Take that 2012. I'm just going to live life and enjoy it.


Crap, did I just make a resolution?