This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

So this actually happened a few months ago. But it's so fucking ridiculous that I have to share. 

The Monkey was in the bathroom for a VERY LONG TIME. 

And this is the reason. I have no idea how on Earth she pulled down the blinds. Kids do weird shit all the time. Really, they do!

Because these blinds suck I went ahead and called a company to give me a quote for cordless blinds because I don't want my children hanging themselves on blinds. It happens. It's a real thing with kids - parents are literally on suicide watch for every moment that their child is awake until the children can make common sense decisions for themselves. I don't actually know when the worry ends, I don't think it does. 

Back to cordless blinds. 

$200 per window. AND THAT WAS WITH A DISCOUNT. 

I just about SHAT MYSELF when I got the quote.

Bimmer Man said no. I still waver back and forth between calling other places too but I'm pretty sure the company that I called is the cheapest in the Twin Cities.

Maybe I'll just wait for them to crash down on Bimmer when he's on the pot. Because those windows on the neighbor's house...those are their living room windows. 

More Stuff De-Cluttered. Including Cookbooks.

I'm going to be honest.

I don't even remember what is in these boxes. 

I do remember that I had two Book Club Cookbooks (which I never made a recipe from and my current favorite cookbook which has tried and true recipes is my Better Homes & Gardens Bridal Cookbook, weird, but true!). 

Also, another cookbook that went was my King Arthur Flour cookbook. I tried to make an apple crisp and thought this King Arthur book would have a fabulous recipe. Well, no, it did not. Instead I ended up using my Mark Bittman recipe (way better!!! way easier!!!). 

More clothes. Of course more clothes. I swapped out my summer stuff for my fall/winter wardrobe and in the process I ridded myself of clothes that no longer fit, clothes that I hate, clothes that weren't in style, and anything that I didn't feel good in. Which means that I also donated a few sweaters that I just held on to because they were sweaters and I live in Minnesota (and well, who doesn't need 15+ sweaters??). Into the box went 5 sweaters. Phew, I no longer need to dry clean 5 sweaters!

Last week after I did the last load of summer clothes, I also went through all of those and decided to donate 3 more pairs of shorts, 4 T-shirts, a sweatshirt, and a bunch of old college T-shirts.

I'm not really sure why, but I felt really guilty for putting old college T-shirts into the donate box. I mean, I just worked at Indiana University so I don't really have to much affiliation with the school, other than Bimmer Man. With my Golden Gopher stuff, I can't quite bring myself to go through that yet. There's definite shirts that don't fit, sweatshirts that have shrunk, hole-y shirts, shirts that are too small, and who knows what else is in my college T-shirt bin. So I stuck it into the back of the closet and I will re-visit that bin in a few months - if I've forgotten what is in it, then I won't even look at it, I'll just dump the whole thing into a trash bag and bring it to the donation center. That seems quite scary to think about right now, but I'll do it. I'm not ready yet to let go of my items related to my college years yet. 

And lastly, just a box of crap. Coffee mugs, extra pairs of mittens that I don't use (and I'm not sure why I didn't toss two pairs of gloves in there too.. those are for the next box), a hat that I was SURE I was going to wear all summer (which no, I didn't, instead I wore a straw bowler hat and my wayfarer sunglasses a ridiculous amount). I also donated 12 simple cream napkins, I mostly use our 18x18 inch homemade or purchased napkins from World Market anyway, so why keep those cream napkins when I don't use them? We don't even have enough company anymore to use 12 more napkins and I don't want to wash them plus they're not big enough. 

Time to let go. 

Happy Friday!

Is there anything that you're not ready to let go of? An item that is attached to memories? Something that reminds you of the past that you're not ready to part with yet?

Rusty Taco

Me (on the phone with Ollu Dog Wash booking a grooming appointment): Ok, I'm a stay at home mom so I'm available most days but I'm not available during naptime which is from 12:30 to 3:30.

Ollu: How about tomorrow at _____.

(I actually don't remember what time, I will have to call them back because of what happened next)

Me: Perfect. That works great. OMGMYDOGATEATACO.

Ollu: What? Right now?

Me: Omg. Yes, he just ate a taco off of my child's plate.

Ollu: He must be an opportunist.

Me: Why yes, yes he is.

Ollu: Did you know about the food truck, Rusty Taco?

Cutting The Sentimental Crap

Slowly but surely I'm getting all the "stuff" out of this house.

Today (after two Bloody Marys from McCoy's) I'm starting to wonder how in my right mind I'm going to tackle my craft supplies. There are items that I KNOW I DON'T NEED. I just don't know what those are quite yet.

And so I got rid of a rug instead of tackling craft supplies.

Le sigh.

There are items that are going to be ridiculously hard but then there are going to be items that won't. Like all the sentimental items in the office.

For example, I encountered a piece of drinkware, ok, a Dos Equis pint glass with Bimmer Man's signature on it and a date.

The date, I confess, I did not remember.

It took me a good five minutes (sorry, Bimmer, I just couldn't remember the specific year...).

And then I remembered, I took that afternoon off of work so we could get married. But the glass? I have NO IDEA why that thing is important. I just don't remember why a pint glass could be so important. I must have saved it for a reason, right? Did one of us steal it from the bar we went to after we got hitched?

I don't know.

Which is why I didn't keep the glass.

I had no idea why a glass was so important to keep after seven years. Why? Why was it even in our office? Why did I not wash it off and keep it in the cupboards to drink out of? I don't get it. If it was so important to us, why wasn't it out in the open where everyone could see it?

My memories are much stronger than an item of sentimental value. The moments of your life are defined by your memories and everyone's memories are different. Your memories are not defined by things.

In the seven years that Bimmer Man and I have been married, I haven't actually heard him even mention this pint glass once. Nope, not ever.

So I understand why sentimental items are hard to let go - they bring back memories of good times and bad times. But when you look at an item and can't remember why you even have it, then what's the point of saving it?

And then at some point I'm going to have to tackle different sentimental items that I won't really know what to do with - old college artwork that I don't like (throw it or donate?), craft supplies (recycle? toss? donate?).

Gah.

I suppose this is why it's going to take me forever to get through this house.

At some point in the future, I will not clean as much crap because it won't be in the house, I will be able to spend more time with my family because I won't be cleaning, I will be able to garden more because I won't have "things" to take care of, I will be able to read more books again because I won't have to worry about buying more storage bins for more stuff. I will be able to do exactly what I want to do.

I just have to get through all the sentimental crap first.

The Inevitable Ill-Placed Band-Aid

And sometimes you don't get to choose where your child gets her boo-boos. 

Someone Peed On My New Rug Already

It's now "broken in."

Bimmer Man came home from work last week and this was our conversation. 

Me: Someone in this house peed on my new rug.

Bimmer Man says nothing and looks at me. 

Me: No! Not me! I didn't pee on the rug!

(It was The Monkey, I swear!)

The House Didn't Explode

Monday was an exciting day in the Bimmer-McTatty household.

The gas company had contractors out at our house to work on gas lines and to move our gas meter from inside the house to outside the house.

These people (yep, my irritation here is obvious) have been working on gas lines in our neighborhood for months. MONTHS. The main street into our neighborhood was closed. Our sidewalks have holes. My yard has holes. The street has holes and piles of dirt and pavement. There's even a Biffy at the end of our street.

YET MY RETAINING WALL STILL STANDS.

VICTORY.

I was really worried about it last week when a guy came around to make an appointment to move our meter. He was so nonchalant about it too.

Me: What are you doing to my house? You're not going to touch my retaining walls or plants, right?

Him: We're moving your gas meter outside. Where do you want it?

Me: I have options?

Him: Yeah, anywhere outside.

Me: Just don't touch my retaining walls or plants.

Him: Ok. We have to dig up your yard to get around the tree.

Me: Where? Will you put the dirt back in the holes? Do I have to replant the grass? You're not going to touch my retaining walls, right? I don't want to replace them.

Him: Neither do we.

Me: Ok. Just don't touch my stuff. Is my house going to explode?

Him: It shouldn't.

That wasn't very comforting. Because I watch the news... Houses have exploded from gas line maintenance not very far from our house. I didn't want to be the people whose dog flew 50 feet from the house and ended up doing a news story from the vet's office.

He then marked out two spots to dig in our front yard with spray paint and I shit my pants just a little. THEY WERE HUGE MARKINGS. From me intently watching our neighbor's yard, I knew that they would dig exactly where the paint was. And some of that paint was right next to our sidewalk. Ugh.

So Monday morning came and I grabbed a box and started to throw stuff in it just in case our house exploded. I grabbed necessities. Phone charger, crochet hooks, dog leash, a sweater, my Kindle. And put it on the back porch if I had to run for cover.

They ended up putting the meter on the front of the house - had they put it on the side they would have had to dig up our sidewalk and then they would replace that in a few WEEKS. WEEKS. So I said no to that. Plus with our luck and Minnesota winters I figured Bimmerman or I would take it out with the snowblower at some point. Then our house probably would explode.

So now I just have to wait for my plant outside to cover it up next year. The guy that came and filled in the holes was pretty awesome, they set aside my pine bark mulch and then instead of just leaving dirt they replaced the pine bark mulch on top. I'm sure I didn't have to complain about it because a previous person had already done that. SO, now I just have one random dirt patch that needs to be seeded.

Phew. Worries about exploding houses are over. Onto the next project....

So, Ahhh... It's Been Awhile???

Let's just say that, um, life, got in the way? Summer has been a bit busy.

But I've been pinning away on Pinterest, so let me show you what I've been looking at:

I want to put something like this in the kitchen at some point - it's pretty cool! Maybe mounted on a wall though instead of inside of a cabinet door.

Goal: Make this to put all the Christmas cards on in the living room. I may have to find a new cheap-o dresser the next time I go antiquing.

I need to find this. Like immediately. And I need two of them - one for upstairs and one for downstairs.

And at some point I need to stop in at Bauer Brothers Salvage to see if I can find some awesome old windows so I can put up old black and white family photos - I think I'm going to take down the cheap card holder in the dining room and replace it with something like this.

And by the way - Bimmer Man ripped out the closet in the basement this past weekend. YES. Bimmer Man: 1, Old House Basement: 0.

Update: THE GRASS

Holy buckets. We've got grass!! And it can actually be mowed! YES!!! Dogs, snow, salt, sand be damned - I will have grass in my backyard!!

It doesn't look too bad, right? There's still a few rough spots out there, but once a week I sprinkle handfuls of grass seed in the bald spots and water. I water like crazy - I hand water every day and make sure that the grass is well soaked.

I've noticed that in the neighborhood everyone has crabgrass - and the only way to get rid of it is to pull it up by hand or dump baking soda on it. (Baking soda totally turns it black and kills it, but then it looks bad and you still have to pull it up anyway). To prevent crabgrass, you need to have a healthy lawn in the first place, so I'm trying my best - deeply watering the grass to make sure it has strong roots. GAH. Lawns. I have no idea why I'm so obsessed with it in the first place. I suppose I should just let it grow into a prairie.

Happy Friday!

Funny Story About Shaving Cream

Yes, yes, that's right. Sometimes I tell stories about things that happen to me.

Like my dog is an asshole (really, he totally is. But if he were a person I think he would either be a laid back surfer dude or maybe just a d-bag. Some days it's hard to tell!).

In any case.

Remember having roommates in college and your bath stuff would disappear pretty quickly? I never really understood until after I moved in with Bimmer Man and shaving cream would last two months instead of two weeks. Or how I always seemed to need new razors, shampoo, conditioner and body wash weekly but then when I moved in with Bimmer Man he didn't really want to smell like girly bath products so I didn't need to buy them so often. Huh. Makes you wonder, right?

Well, I've been buying the Skintimate Shaving Cream for as long as I can remember. It's pretty floofy and foamy but still, it's shaving cream and it doesn't give me razor burn.

So today I used my new stuff (thank you, Costco for carrying Gillette Sensitive Skin and letting me try this stuff out).

I put the same amount of shaving cream in my hands that I normally use and BAM!!!

That stuff foamed up faster than you can say Minnesota.

I'm almost embarrassed about this. Almost. 

There was so much foam, that if I wanted to, I probably could have shaved my whole body. Seriously.

Ok, so maybe for a nanosecond I thought about shaving my head so I wouldn't waste shaving cream.

But I just wanted to share with you my new love of Gillette Sensitive Skin shaving cream. It's foamy. You don't need to use too much (because if you do, you'll end up having to clean the whole entire shower of shaving cream OR realize when you're done cleaning that shaving cream somehow managed to reach the ceiling when you were trying to shake it off your hands and the razor because it didn't exactly rinse off as easily as your old shaving cream), and it doesn't give you razor burn.

Is this post because Gillette paid me? NO. It's because I wanted to warn you before you use it and have to clean up a mess of shaving cream.

Happy weekend!

Minnesota Government Shutdown = No More Beer

Boo. Any liquor distributor that did not renew its license cannot deliver beer to Minnesota.

See here.

And here.

So, hopefully no booze will get people motivated to decide upon a budget and get state workers back to work, truckers able to pee at rest areas on the freeways, campers back into state parks and well, beer to be stocked on the shelves!

Hi! My Name is Patty & I Lose Shit

Like, you know, a pair of expensive skinny jeans. That I wanted to wear today.

I guess it's time to attack the pile of laundry in the basement and find some shit. That, well, you know, I might want to wear.

So, happy Friday. If you've lost something, good luck finding it. Could you send some my way too??? Thanks.

Le sigh. Happy soon-to-be-weekend.

Help Me With Growing Grass

This is the part of our backyard where the dogs play. They tear up the grass, rough house, roll around and pretty much ruin the grass. I've taken the liberty of showing you the WORST spot in our yard.

Why?

Well, because I need some help. How in the world do I grow grass here? You can tell that I'm experimenting with grass seed - I spread out a bag of black dirt, tossed some seed and kept it watered. This is after a week. I just don't know if it's worth it to do the rest of the dead part or not. Well, unless there is some secret grass that holds up to dogs (anyone know?).

I think I'm going to rope it off next week and throw down more black dirt and try to seed the rest of the dead spots. GAH. It's just grass - I shouldn't care too much, but I just HATE when Rusty comes in with muddy paws.

Any thoughts or suggestions? I tried to embrace the mud but I just can't do it anymore. I'm not a fan.

Sew Liberated Tunic

Here's my very first garment project. A tunic. It should be easy enough, right? I think there's only about 25 steps and I'm halfway through Step 1 (which is to trace and cut the pattern with butcher paper, as you can tell, I had a little help with Mich Golden Light).

I guess this is a pretty popular pattern, so hopefully if I get stuck I can google directions or tutorials or maybe find some pictures on Flickr.

And here's the fabric that I picked out - it's Michael Miller. The stripes go the long way, not the horizontal way, I don't want to look any fatter than my size 10 self. I was looking for gray stripe fabric like in the picture but I couldn't find any, so here is this stripe instead. I'm hoping that it doesn't look too awful when I'm done.

Happy 4th of July!!

Yeah, sorry. I've been getting distracted lately by the AWESOME weather. It's been warm, sunny and just perfect to work outside, sit outside and read, cook on the grill, swimming at a friend's pool. Minnesota in the summer is the BEST. So I apologize for not sharing in the fun.

But I have a problem in my garden - my Clematis died. Again. This is the only plant that I kill outside. Continuously. Well, besides the tomatoes that I had to replant. Whoops. Mostly because I don't think the Clematis is in a spot where the soil drains well. I think I'm going to have to go to Sunnyside Gardens and get another one and then plant it right next to the house on a trellis since that soil seems to drain well. GAH. Gardening. It never ends!

Recipes I've made:
Mostly brats on the grill. Who wants to see pictures of brats? Well, not me.
Potatoes AND asparagus on the grill (this is sort of a weekly staple in our house in the summer, I never bother taking pictures because otherwise I'd be posting the same thing over and over again - just seasoned with salt, pepper and Moroccan spices for both veggies)
Chicken on the grill - seasoned with Mediterranean seasoning and sprinkled with lemon juice
Scrambled eggs, bacon, toast

See - I'm boring when it's nice outside. But I found a recipe for Cherry Crisp, so I think I'm going to run to the store and pick up another bag of cherries and maybe make that for dessert tonight. Simple, but delicious!

Happy 4th of July - be safe with the fireworks and hope that everyone's day is AWESOME!

Wordless Wednesday

Should I start doing these? I don't know. I like looking at other people's pictures without words... Should I? Maybe so... but I've realized that I'm a totally typical Gemini. I start something, go off kilter and then usually either forget or I start something new and never finish what I meant to start in the first place.

Remember how I tried to do 30 posts in 30 days? Well, I fell off the bandwagon after 6, I think.

Le Sigh.

Ok, I'm up for it for a few weeks. Maybe I'll even schedule posts so that I won't miss Wednesdays. That's always an option.

So let's start (Oops, this is supposed to be WORDLESS, I apologize):

Oh, Man. Rain & Fish.

I've totally been feeling off my rocker lately. Not only has Cora-Bumi-Steve been with us for almost two weeks, but this weather is driving me INSANE.

 Ok, so that's C-B-S in the background, she is super cute, right? ADORABLE is more like it. And here's Rusty. He sort of looks proud of himself... for something... I don't know what. It kind of looks like he killed C-B-S and brought her to me for a gift but no - he sees a camera and he sits for you. Strange dog.

In any case - the rain has been around, the clouds have been around and it seems as if Spring has taken over Summer. I'm done with Spring. Give me my Summer back, please. I'm tired of muddy footprints, frizzy hair and dreary clouds.

Today is the next CSA box, which I'm super excited for. I'll have more recipes soon. From my email earlier this week this is what's in the box:

French Breakfast Radishes

Garlic Scapes

Italian Parsley

Kohlrabi

Napa Cabbage

Rainbow Chard

Red Butterhead Lettuce

Red Leaf Lettuce

Scallions

Strawberries

Oh, and the whole entire point to this post which I probably NEVER would have gotten around to had I not put "fish" in the title:

Cora-Bumi-Steve's owners brought us FRESH FISH FROM THE FAMOUS PIKE PLACE FISH MARKET IN SEATTLE. IT'S LESS THAN 18 HOURS OLD. Ok, I mean this fish was pulled out of the ocean to its death for me to eat less than 18 hours ago. It was not caught, flash frozen and shipped to Cub Foods to be thawed and colored. How awesome is that for a thank you gift? Eep, I know what I'm making for dinner tonight!

Missing IU Student

The scary part of this is that I used to run alone where she disappeared.

Daily.

Scary, right?

She disappeared about 4:30 a.m. after she had been at a bar (AND SHE WAS UNDERAGE), then went home, then to a friend's apartment and then decided she wanted to go home.

I've found the best news coverage so far with the Indiana Daily Student.

A timeline of Lauren's events can be found here.

It's an interesting story. Truths and lies have come out. Eventually we will find out what happened to Lauren. Her purse was found on Morton Street - not a route that most people would take to get to her apartment on College. You just can't help but speculate and imagine what happened. It's hard not to do because we just don't know.

And Lauren has a heart condition.

So the sooner she is found, the better.

Happy Birthday to Me!

And Happy Birthday to my birthday twin too!

And yes, I'm now closer to 30 than 25 and that's ok with me. I think. No complaints yet.

On the agenda today:

1. Try not to have the frizziest hair.
2. Buy some ice cream.
3. Sit.
4. And do nothing for 1 hour.
5. Well, try to anyway.

Happy steamy Monday in the Twin Cities!

Sunday Confession.

Do any of you read PostSecret every Sunday? I do. And on Monday mornings when I realize that I forgot to read it, I get kind of excited. Some days it's sad, others it's funny. Just depends.

And so here's a confession of mine:

I super glued quarters/pennies/nickels/dimes to the floors in high school.