He Found A Whistle

My life is ruined. 

He found a coach's whistle. 

My workouts last week included Baby Chewie blowing the fucking whistle with every new move/new weights/new pose. I mean really, he could have been Autumn. A little more cray cray, more words that I couldn't understand, but really happy to whistle.

Things That Small Children Say

Me to The Monkey: Have you seen my chapstick?

The Monkey: Yes

Me: Where is it?

The Monkey: Outside

Me: Um. Ok.

I have to think for a minute. Did I bring my Burt's Bees outside? I don't think so...

Me to The Monkey: Where is it outside?

By this time my lips are DRY. I mean like when you go somewhere and suddenly realize YOU HAVE NO BURTS BEES OR ANYTHING LIKE IT in your purse and you have to go to the nearest store to find some lip balm for your dry lips. BLERG.

The Monkey: Well, I threw it outside.

Me: WHAT?!? That's my Burt's Bees!

The Monkey: I know.

Me: Why did you do that?

The Monkey: Because birds have dry lips too.