Anyone Need A Donkey?

So I have a funny work story. Well, actually, I have several funny work stories however, they are all part of my normal work life so I don't really think about them anymore as being anything other than work.

We do pro bono animal cruelty stuff at work which means that we get lots and lots of phone calls complaining about underfed horses, outdoor dogs with no shelter, hoarding situations, etc...

In a nutshell: we educate people on the statutes to give animals better lives.

Here's a little gem for you:

Me: Blank, blank, blank. This is Pattymctatty.

Caller: I have to report a complaint of animal cruelty.

Me: Ok. Can I get the type of animal and the address of where the animal is located?

Caller: It's a donkey.

Me: Ok. We can help with hooved animals. Can I get the address of where the animal is located so that I can get an agent out to investigate?

Caller: Well, it hasn't had any food or water in a few hours.

Me: How do you know that? And can I get the address, please?

Caller: It's in the trailer of my truck.

Me: Where is your truck?

Caller: In my yard.

Me: Where is your yard?

Caller: So when can I drop off the donkey at your office?

Me: What?

Caller: Well, I need to drop off the donkey at your office.

Me: We do not take in surrendered animals. We are not a shelter. However, I can send an agent out to your house to check out the donkey. Do you need food for the donkey?

Caller: When can I drop off the donkey at your office?

Me: We are not a shelter. We do not take in surrendered animals. I can give you the website of the Minnesota Hooved Rescue.

Caller: I already left them a message.

Me: When did you leave them a message?

Caller: About 5 minutes ago. So when can I drop the donkey off at your office?

Me: We do not take in surrendered animals. We are not a shelter. Good luck getting a donkey into a bank building.

Caller: Hangs up.

Me: Gives the receiver a blank stare.