Out of the Fog

Finally.

Last Tuesday it was about 9:30 in the morning and I suddenly felt as if I had come out of a fog.

I realized that my postpartum hormones had finally leveled off. Gone away. I felt fucking free. Like I was swimming under water and running out of air to suddenly pop up and take a deep breath again.

It's nice to be back.

I don't feel like I'm REACTING anymore - I don't feel like I'm in fight/flight mode anymore - I don't feel like I'm running all the time.

It's a great feeling to have ME back. I have no idea if that makes any sense or not - but I always tell other new mothers, that it's 40 weeks to grow a baby, and it's 40 weeks to get yourself back - not just your body but YOURSELF. If there's something that is indescribable it's really the hormones that affect you. You can feel happy, then suddenly not. You can feel irritated, then suddenly not. And you just can't describe any of it. It's weird. It's weird. It's something that mother don't talk about - but if you're affected by postpartum crap, don't worry, I understand.

So now that the haze has lifted, I'm ME again.